


"What Do You Mean There Is Only One Bed?!"

by Ladyspirkis4life97



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pining, Undercurrent of Kyman, Wedding Fluff, all grown up, bed sharing, breaking up, friends hanging out, low key flirting, strip clubs mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyspirkis4life97/pseuds/Ladyspirkis4life97
Summary: Kyle finds himself with an extra ticket to Stan's wedding after Bebe breaks up with him, knowing Cartman couldn't afford one and would turn down charity, he ignores his pride to offer up the ticket. Cartman agrees but there is only one problem, the only room is the room Kyle booked and it's a double bed.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Bebe Stevens mentioned, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger mentioned
Kudos: 12





	"What Do You Mean There Is Only One Bed?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Kyman Week Two Bed Sharing and Adult life. Thank you to the mods who created Kymanweek I am throughly loving this and I LOVED this prompt. This is unbetaed and I hope you'll enjoy :).  
> Rating increased cause I forgot I mentioned strippers and not entirely sure general audiences is ok with that, sorry to anyone I might have offended 🙇

Kyle could not believe this as he put down his cellphone, Bebe’s voice echoing in his ears “I’m sorry Kyle but I just don’t want to go, at least, not with you, I’ll be going with Token instead, sorry love!” Kyle had suspected the two but he had turned a blind eye because she was someone he not only loved but also who his parents approved of. She was tall and blond, which pleased his dad, and smart with a wonderful sense of humor who could kill it in the kitchen which pleased his mom. He stared down at the two plane tickets, glaring at the “No refund 24 hours before the flight is to be taken place,” and glared at the clock which had just gone past the hour mark. “Well, can’t hurt to try I suppose, plus having a bed all to myself would be nice.” He called up the flight company and was on hold for, he pulled his phone away and checked, an hour before he finally got a hold of them. He explained the situation and while they sympathized the no refund policy was permanent, with no exceptions. He wasn’t above begging and even lost his temper, as he had been on hold for over an hour only to be told no way and he hung up, ignoring the operators' cries of sir. 

So now he had an unneeded ticket, he could sell it online, but it had Bebe’s name and the person he talked to insisted that they couldn’t make it an open ticket for security reasons. He looked out the window and found himself faced with Cartman, working out in front of the window, lifting dumbbells like no tomorrow. Kyle opened up his window and yelled “Hey Cartman!” 

Cartman stopped lifting the dumbells and placed them down and yelled back “What do you want?”

“I got an extra ticket to Stan’s wedding! You want it?”

Cartman stared at him and said, “Sure let’s do it Jew what time do I need to be ready?”

“Six Am! Be there or I’ll leave you and you better pack something nice if I’m showing up with you!”

He was met with a middle finger and a smile and closed his window, laughing like an idiot only for his smile to be turned into a frown as he was placed on hold for another hour. Five am came the next day and Kyle pressed the off button to his alarm and got into the shower sleepily. He heard the door open as he was buttoning up his shirt and called for Cartman to come up. His mom and dad were on vacation, and Ike was staying the night at his friends so Kyle had the house to himself. He heard the stairs creak and calmly put his pants on as Cartman came into the room and sat on his bed and winced when immediately Cartman said “So Bebe dump you for Token huh?” 

Kyle glared at him and checked inside his suitcase as he said “Yeah guess you were right, congratulations.” Kyle could tell Cartman was warring with himself on teasing him or not so Cartman just shrugged and said “I’m better company anyway.” Complete with finger guns which made Kyle throw a pillow at him while smiling softly and rolling his eyes. They piled into the cab that Kyle had ordered, ignoring Cartman’s ribbing about being too cheap for airport parking and took the drive to the airport in silence. They presented their tickets and went through TSA, Kyle groaning when they were stopped as Cartman showed off his belt buckle with a big grin like the obscene piece of metal was something to be excited about, and sighed in relief when they were finally on the plane. They sat next to each other and Cartman said “Wow first class was she going to go into the room with rose petals on the bed too?” Kyle felt himself blush and glared at Cartman, crossing his arms and leaning his seat back fervently hoping that they wouldn’t need to share a bed and that they could switch with some of the other guests.

Cartman reached over and poked him and said “So excited to be Stan’s best man?” Kyle smiled softly at the memory of Stan asking them to be his groomsman and Stan giving Kyle himself a fake engagement asking him to be his best man. They are all pretty sure they gave the girls of South Park heart attacks and it had been hilarious even if it was bittersweet for Kyle who was just recovering from his crush on his best friend but it was nice. Kyle replied, “I am thrilled to be there for him, Bebe showed me pictures of Wendy in her dress and she is gorgeous.”

Cartman smiled at him and teased “Not going to try and sleep with him before the wedding?” Kyle scowled at him but he knew it was the way Cartman inquired on how he felt, something Kyle appreciated because he wasn’t really a soft and squishy person, he knew anger and showed anger but he wasn’t one to gush to people about how he is feeling. So Kyle simply sighed and said, “No I’ve moved on, I’m not even upset about Bebe like I knew on some level she didn’t love me I was just tired of upsetting my parents I guess.”

“What about now? Going to find someone that will make your parents proud?”

Kyle snorted and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep before they landed in New York “I’m moving to Washington with you, I’m done being the perfect child.”

“You say that like I invited you,” Cartman responded while rolling his eyes, only to be met with light snoring. Cartman blinked at him rapidly wondering how he did that in his presence still, before admitting they were on a plane so that was probably why. He gladly ordered champagne for himself and accepted the two pillows and blankets, tsking as he had to lift Kyle’s head to place the first one under his head and then draped the blanket over him. He leaned back and watched the clouds, sipping champagne and watching over his favorite jew. They landed in three hours the flight going surprisingly smoothly and both were feeling like this was going to be an awesome trip. They got to the hotel and the cabby took half off after hearing Kyle’s story about how he ended up with a friend to a wedding and the weather was mild. High spirits were had as they walked into the hotel and Kyle smiled walked up to the concierge requesting his room and a room for his friend. The concierge blinked and said, “Sir you are here two days before the fourth and two days before a wedding.” Kyle rolled his eyes towards Cartman who was standing next to him and said to the concierge “I know it’s my friend's wedding, can’t you just search to see if you have any rooms please?” He smiled gently at the concierge who blushed and said “Ok I’ll look but no promises ok?”

“Thank you,” Kyle said smiling wide and leaning back, ignoring Cartman snickering beside him. 

“Ok just as I suspected we are all booked up sirs sorry, you two will just have to share the room you already booked.”

“But it’s a double bed, you know meant for two people to sleep together?”

The concierge shrugged and said, “It’s 2020 just say no homo and you’ll be fine right?” He smiled at Kyle, ignoring Cartman completely and awkwardly Kyle said 

“Um sure ok, can I have my keys then?”

“Sure just hand me both of your IDs.”

They handed him their ID’s and a moment later they were returned to them. The concierge wrote something on a piece of paper and shoved it into the envelope holding the key cards and handed Kyle it as he said “Your room number is 53 across from the groom and inside is a special limited-time offer, enjoy.” Kyle nodded his thanks and walked away, pulling the paper out and feeling his face warm as Cartman busted up laughing. Not even caring that the concierge could still see them, Cartman took the paper from Kyle and threw it away, maintaining eye contact with the concierge the whole time. Kyle rolled his eyes and slapped Cartman’s chest gently “What if I wanted to take him up on that offer? Would get you to have the bed all to yourself.” 

“Go dig for the number if you’re so desperate but I don’t think you would want to be with him.”

“Why not? Cartman tended to notice more than anyone else around him did, it was what made him a good detective and was how he could manipulate almost anyone that wasn’t a friend of his.

“Tan line on his finger, the exact shape of a wedding band, stupid fucking mistake if you ask me, at least wear foundation.” Kyle saw red and went to march back only to be strong-armed by Cartman who said “Easy there don’t make a scene, we’re here for Stan, he’ll get what’s coming to him.” Kyle looked up at his friend and suppressed a smile and relaxed, yeah that guy messed with the wrong person everything will be alright. “So why haven’t we seen Stan or the blushing bride yet?” Cartman asked as Kyle unlocked the door and opened it. Kyle flopped down onto the bed as soon as he dropped his suitcase and laughed when he felt the bed dip as Cartman did the same. Kyle rolled over onto his back and placed his hands on his stomach as he said: “Stan was sorry he wasn’t going to get to greet us at the airport but apparently there was a last-minute mistake in the cake and now they have to talk to the bakery to get a different flavor done.” Cartman rolled over too, careful not to touch shoulders and said “That sucks dude but at least they're getting married they’ve been together since fourth fucking grade my god.”

“It’s a lot healthier too now that Stan has the support and they’ve both obviously matured. Stan couldn’t stop gushing; he almost ruined the surprise before he even proposed.”

“Of course the hippy couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” Cartman said but his voice was laced with fondness. Kyle sighed and nestled further into the bed, Cartman had changed for the better in all the best ways but still stayed himself when it counted. He was sure to watch what he said but occasionally thing’s popped out but he always apologized and he religiously took his medicine. He was still a psychopathic asshole but he directs that towards people who deserve it like cheating spouses and murderers, not towards his friends and random people. His means of interrogation are sometimes not wholly legal but he messes them up so bad no one ever admits and his firm he works for just turns the blind eye as long as he gets results. Kyle wasn’t too thrilled by this but understood enough that this was a lesser of the two evils situation and at least it was guilty people, attempts on his life had dropped significantly since and Kyle wasn’t dumb enough not to be grateful for that even as his heart twisted at the reason. Cartman jabbed his elbow into Kyle’s side and said “You excited for the bachelor party tonight? I heard Stan put Kenny AND Jimmy in charge of it.”

Kyle groaned and moved the pillow to his face and said “Can we not go?”

Cartman pulled the pillow away and said “Try that again but this time with more oxygen.” Kyle glared up at him and snatched the pillow away breaking into a smile when Cartman let it go and held his hands up in mock surrender. “I said, asshole, could we just not go?”

“The best man NOT go to a bachelor's party? No, I’m pretty sure it's the law that you have to go.”

“Ugh but it’s just going to be alcohol and strippers dude, so unfun.”

“You only say that because you only need one Cosmo before you’re out.”

“That is not true and you know it.” Kyle punctuated this statement by hitting Cartman with a pillow. He pulled it away and bit the bottom of his lip when Cartman said in his most effeminate voice “Oh you bitch it’s on!” And hit him with his own pillow. They took turns drawing blows and they had overturned the desk and moved the dresser when they heard a knock at the door. Kyle eyed Cartman, not trusting him, but lowered his pillow when Cartman rolled his eyes and gestured to the door. Kyle went and opened the door letting out an “Oh hey Stan,” just as he was hit in the back of the head with a pillow. Kyle turned around and put on his best hurt and betrayed face towards Cartman, who looked unimpressed. Stan went ahead and stepped in, eyeing the chaos and as the door closed he asked tiredly “Who let you two share a room?”

Cartman smirked and said “The hotel staff, they said they couldn’t accommodate another person, and since Kyle was the only one I can stand with a free spot we opted for this.”

“Of course Cartman, I’m sure.” He looked skeptical and then turned to Kyle and brought him into a tight hug “Dude I’m so glad you’re here, Kenny has been driving me insane.” 

Kyle hugged back just as tightly and responded “I’m glad to be here congratulations man.”

Stan pulled away and said “Thank you,” then launched himself at Cartman who cringed but gave a half-hug back and congratulations. They righted the furniture in their hotel and Stan sat on the couch in the corner while the other two sat on the bed. Stan sighed and said, “I’m sorry Bebe did that to you, I wish I could uninvite Token but with him using Bebe as a shield there isn’t anything I can do for you, though Bebe is now just a bridesmaid and not the maid of honor, that spot was taken up by Nichole.” Kyle laughed at that, Bebe had been bragging on social media the whole time about how her best friend was flying her to New York for her wedding and she was the maid of honor, she had also privately told Kyle that she was going to up show Wendy and that was even after her genuinely not trying. Cartman bumped his shoulder into him and Kyle could hear the unspoken words, “See Karma always pays them back.” He bumped his shoulders back and Stan said: “Oh no you two stop that, you are not up showing me and Wendy, we are the only cute couple these next few days ok?”

“What on Earth are you talking about Stan? Cartman asked as Kyle pushed himself away from Cartman slightly, feeling himself blush as Stan said “That silent communication you two do and the gentle reassuring gestures, stop that.”

“Why should we though?”

“It will make people think you are a couple, there are already rumors that is the reason Bebe left Kyle, don’t make it worse by keeping up the couples act.”

“We aren’t acting like a couple though, geez Stan, can’t two dudes just be friends?” Kyle asked, irritated with his friend and embarrassed.

“You two are literally sitting on the bed together shoulder to shoulder, you two gravitated towards each other the moment you showed signs of embarrassment Kyle.” Kyle moved away again, baffled about their proximity when he heard another knock, this time Cartman got up and Kyle smiled as Kenny didn’t even say hi he just said “Oh are you warning them to keep their non-relationship on the down-low?”

“Ugh not you too, we are just friends, you don’t get to be on the level of hatred we had for each other without learning from each other,” Kyle said, crossing his arms and glaring at Kenny. 

Kenny threw himself next to Stan, bouncing a little and said “Sure sure man, don’t think about ditching the bachelor party though, I know you and Token are having your differences what with him stealing your girl, but Stan needs you there for moral support.”

“Moral support? You’re acting like he didn’t have pictures of this very day in his notebook when we were in sixth grade.” Cartman said, looking unconvinced and not caring about Stan’s blush. 

Kyle said in mock hurt, “Stan you were planning on marrying her all along? Then what was I?” Stan looked stricken and began to apologize again for accidentally leading him on when Kyle couldn’t hold it anymore and busted out laughing. Cartman slapped his leg and said, “Dude for the last time you didn’t lead him on, Kyle was just looking for signs that weren’t there, stop looking like we kicked your dog.” 

Kenny laughed with them while Stan huffed and crossed his arms and said “Go ahead laugh it up, but I’m the first one to be married out of all of us.”

“Proving once again Stan is still, the most boring one of us.” Stan smacked Kenny upside the head while Cartman laughed and Kyle scolded Kenny though he couldn’t hold in the few smiles that came out and tried to look apologetic at Stan’s betrayed face. They chatted for a bit longer before Kenny and Stan left for their prospective rooms to get ready for the party. Kyle and Cartman got dressed, with Kyle going into the bathroom to do so. When he came out in his button-up green shirt and blue jeans he was met with Cartman in a white T-shirt and jeans. By all rights, he should have looked out of place next to Kyle but his 'I don’t care look' made it look like he did care effortlessly, and by that he actually did fit next to Kyle’s more business casual approach. They met in the lobby and Kyle ignored the teasing as all of them were in T-shirts and jeans and Kyle was the only one dressed more formerly. They walked to the strip club that Kenny said he completely rented out for the party and Kyle and Cartman sighed, expecting not to enjoy themselves. When they stepped in there they were met with scantily clad women dancing provocatively against poles and surprisingly scantily clad men as well. Kenny put his hands on his two friend's shoulders and said “One free lap dance a piece my children, go forth and have fun.” Kyle rolled his eyes while Cartman laughed and went to one of the chairs and began watching. 

It didn’t take long for him to have a pitcher of beer at his table and he definitely imbibed. They cheered on Stan who got a lap dance from not only a woman but also a man and laughed when he turned into a tomato when the guy rubbed his face. It was a lot of fun and as Kyle stumbled into his hotel room after leaving Stan behind with money in his hands when he got on stage to strip with the strippers' encouragement he was still laughing. Not caring he stripped free of his clothes and fell onto the bed, snorting in laughter when an equally half-naked Cartman fell next to him.

“You’re fucking almost naked in my bed dude, who the fuck knew that would happen on this trip?”

Cartman laughed and turned onto his side as he said “Jesus Christ man you’re so drunk and you only had three glasses.”

“That’s two more than you claimed I could handle,” Kyle said as he rolled back over and poked Cartman in the chest.  
Cartman laughed lowly and pushed Kyle’s hand away and said “How can you even count as drunk as you are?” 

Kyle shrugged and snuggled close, throwing his arms and legs over 

Cartman’s body and said “The question is how can you not be as drunk as me? You downed like twenty glasses.” 

“There’s the bad math abilities alcohol creates, I only had two because I knew I would have to escort you home, you lush.”

Kyle snorted and laughed loudly, rolling off the bed and rocking from side to side as Cartman just stared at him with amusement, patiently waiting for him to calm down. An hour later, filled with Kyle trying to leave to go get some ice cream and lots of snuggling Kyle was finally asleep firmly attached to Cartman like an octopus. Cartman sighed as he laid there, considering his luck. There was still another day until the wedding and maybe he could go there as more than a friend if he played his cards right. He indulged in his wants and breathed in Kyle’s hair, not caring about the undercurrent smell of alcohol and smoke and fell into a deep sleep hugging him close the best he could.


End file.
